11 March, 2015
Hodge-Podge BreakfastPosted in : drink, food, fruit, funny, humor, omelette, recipe, smoothie, Uncategorized on by : Jeanette Rueb
My body appears to have gotten used to the school waking schedule, so, on one snowy Saturday, I found myself rising from bed at about 8 o’clock in the morning. Much too early for a Saturday, but I had no shortage of things to do.
In the past week, I had made nachos, tacos, calzones, and buffalo wing dip. Peering into my fridge, I noticed I had amassed quite the assortment of leftover ingredients. I took out my frying pan, turned on my favorite burner, and plopped some butter in the pan. From the fridge, I removed what was left of a jar of jalapeño slices, the few remaining pieces of sandwich pepperoni, a block of extra sharp cheddar, and four eggs.
I wish I had taken a picture. I had purchased eggs from a little rinky-dink grocery store around the corner called Price Rite, and I was almost done with the carton. I kid you not, these were the smallest eggs ever to have purportedly come out of a chicken. I had two of them left. The other carton of eggs were nice, big brown eggs from Walmart. Put side by side, the Price Rite eggs looked like quail eggs compared to Walmart’s ostrich eggs.
At any rate, I cracked the quail eggs and two ostrich eggs into a bowl and added milk (approximately half an eggshell-full for each egg cracked, as my dearest Daddy-o had taught me, many years ago). I added couple taps of pepper and about 10-seconds-of-grinding-worth of Italian herbs. I then grabbed a fork and whisked it.
Sometime around when the eggs were well whisked, I noticed my butter had gone beyond melting to caramelizing. Oops. I turned off the burner and rinsed out the pan. My apartment smelled… buttery. It could have been much worse.
I prefer cooking with butter over olive oil (as far as pan lubricants go) because butter doesn’t smoke as readily as olive oil does. I did the same thing with a pan coated in olive oil once (set it and forget it) and my apartment became filled with acrid-smelling smoke. Fortunately, that was before it had gotten cold outside, so I threw open the windows before the smoke alarm went off. Barely.
Once the pan was clean and dry, I cut a smaller pad of butter and tried again. I didn’t put the pan on the burner again until the cheese was grated, the pepperoni was sliced, and the jalapeños were diced.
In the middle of dicing the jalapeños, I asked the boyfriend if he wanted a smoothie. He looked up excitedly from Warband (modded to look like Game of Thrones, because he’s a dork) and said “yeah!”
“Then I need your help. Either come dice these jalapeños or make the smoothies. I’ll walk you through either.”
He came over and picked up the knife to start cutting the jalapeños. I told him to make them about the same size as the ones I had cut.
Meanwhile, I took out the blender and went between smoothie-making, supervising, and omelette-making.
This time, I didn’t caramelize the butter and the process went smoothly. The boyfriend beamed at me after he finished chopping the peppers. “I think I made mine even smaller than yours!” he told me. This was good progress, as he had learned last time I asked him to chop something for me that smaller was better. I was proud of him, indeed.
The eggs had begun to cook on the bottom and it was time to throw in the goodies. While everything was melting together, I went back to my smoothie. I blended the yogurt, fruit, and juice together, only to realize that I had forgotten to thaw the frozen berries before butting them in the blender and had thus made more of a sorbet than a smoothie.
Not wanting to ruin the omelette, I covered the pan and turned the heat down from medium to low and let it do its thing while I tried to liquefy my sorbet-in-a-blender. In the end, I have no idea how much milk/cranberry juice I used, but I poured them in incrementally until the slurry loosened up to a pourable consistency.
When all was said and done, breakfast looked and smelled great.
For the omelette, I ended up using:
- 1-2 cups grated extra sharp cheddar
- 3 slices of sandwich-size salami
- 4 eggs (2 quail, 2 ostrich)
- 2-3 Tbsp diced jalapeño
- 4 Tbsp milk
- Pepper (to taste)
- Italian seasoning (to taste)
- Sriracha (applied liberally after serving)
- 1 container Chobani cherry yogurt
- 1-2 cups frozen mixed berries
- Equal parts milk and cranberry juice to make the smoothie move faster than a glacier when you try to pour it out of the blender