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20 February, 2015

Red Velvet Pancakes

Posted in : baking, breakfast, food, funny, humor, pancakes, Uncategorized, Valentine's Day on by : Jeanette Schramm Tags: , , , , ,

For Valentine’s Day, I decided to make the boyfriend a special breakfast of red velvet pancakes with a cream cheese drizzle. To set the mood, I put on some Blues Traveler, made us some tea to warm up (because, as you may or may not know, we live on Hoth), and got to cooking.

The recipe seemed pretty simple and straightforward. You mixed the dry ingredients, you mixed them with wet ingredients — pancake batter. You mixed the butter and cream cheese, you added sugar, vanilla, and milk — yummy cream cheese drizzle. It should have been rather straightforward.

With me, nothing is ever simple or straightforward.

The red velvet mix part went well. I had only one question and that was about vinegar. The recipe called for vinegar, but it didn’t specify what kind. Fortunately, I have friends who are chefs, so I used a lifeline. According to my friend, Rory, the vinegar in the recipe was just for the acid, not for the flavor, so white vinegar was fine.

I measured out the appropriate amount of white vinegar, dribbling it all over the front of my cabinets in the process.

Great. Mid-recipe cleaning. My favorite.

 I did the rest of the ingredient thing and put everything in a big pink bowl. I mixed it until it had the consistency of pancake batter and all was well. Periodically, I would ask the boyfriend if he had figure out what I was making, yet. He had been good about not trying to figure out my surprises all week.

I told him the ingredients as I put them in. I don’t think he heard half of them. He recently got this spreadsheet football game that he absolutely loves. If it kept him out of my surprises, though, I’m not going to complain.

I showed him the finished batter and asked him if he recognized the color. We had eaten red velvet ice cream last night, so I thought he might figure it out from  that, but apparently not. He just stared blankly into the bowl, obviously trying to figure it out but to no avail.

I think the hot pink bowl might have thrown him off a bit. The batter really was more red than that, I swear!


I moved on to the cream cheese drizzle.

The recipe says to combine the butter and the cream cheese with a stand mixer or hand mixer. I have neither. So, being the good little Italian I was raised to be, I procured two spoons and got to work.

After five agonizing minutes, I had fluffed that mixture better than any piece of electrical equipment could have. I also couldn’t feel my forearms.

And to think that this was only two of the ingredients for this part of the recipe.


Next, I added the confectioner’s sugar, vanilla, and milk to the drizzle mix. Super straightforward.

Except for one thing.

I took the milk out of the fridge, sniffed it, and realized it had gone bad.

“Boyfraaaaaaaand”
He looked up from his game.
“We’re out of milk.”

I had to ask the poor man to venture out into the cold, snowy wasteland that is Henrietta to get a gallon of milk from the Fastrack at the corner. 

Once he returned home, cold, but otherwise unafflicted, I resumed the recipe.

I couldn’t get the drizzle to smooth out, so it ended up being a white river of cream cheese chunks.

I burnt the first batch of pancakes.

I figured it out by the second batch.

All in all, they looked okay. It all just came down to the taste-test…

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They tasted AMAZING. The boyfriend was very impressed. I would definitely recommend this recipe to anyone who wants some delicious, filling pancakes.

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